Technology is a natural part of growing up today. Preteens and teens use screens to learn, connect with friends, express creativity, and relax. As a licensed educational psychologist, I often hear parents and educators worry about whether technology is helping or hurting children’s development. The truth is that technology itself is not the problem—it’s how, when, and why it is used that matters most.
With guidance, balance, and open conversations, young people can learn to use technology in ways that support their learning, emotional well-being, and relationships.
Focus on Balance, Not Perfection
Healthy development depends on a balance of experiences. Time on screens should leave room for sleep, physical activity, face-to-face relationships, schoolwork, and unstructured play or downtime. Rather than striving for strict rules or zero screen time, it can be more helpful to notice whether technology is crowding out other important parts of a child’s life.
A simple mindset can help: Technology should fit into life, not take it over.
Protecting Sleep Supports Everything Else
Sleep plays a powerful role in mood, attention, memory, and emotional regulation—especially for growing brains. Late-night screen use can make it harder for children and teens to fall asleep and stay asleep.
Helpful routines include turning off devices at least an hour before bedtime, keeping phones out of bedrooms overnight, and creating calm, predictable evening routines. When sleep improves, many concerns related to attention, mood, and stress often improve as well.
Encourage Regular Breaks and Movement
Long periods of screen time can be mentally tiring. Children and teens may not always recognize when they need a break, so gentle reminders are helpful. Short breaks to stretch, move around, or step outside can refresh attention and reduce irritability.
Even small changes—like standing up between assignments or taking a quick walk—can make a noticeable difference in focus and emotional regulation.
Keep Conversations About Social Media Open
Social media can help teens feel connected, but it can also increase comparison, stress, and self-doubt. Ongoing, judgment-free conversations are far more effective than monitoring alone.
Remind children that what they see online is often a highlight reel, not real life. Encourage them to notice how certain content makes them feel and to choose accounts that support their confidence and interests. Learning to mute, unfollow, or take breaks from social media is an important self-care skill.
Teach Kindness and Responsibility Online
Children and teens are still learning impulse control and perspective-taking. Guidance around online behavior helps them develop empathy and good judgment.
Encouraging young people to pause before posting, avoid sharing when emotions are high, and remember that digital content can last longer than expected builds strong digital citizenship. A helpful question to practice is: “Would I say this if the person were right in front of me?”
Set Clear and Supportive Boundaries
Children feel safer when expectations are clear and consistent. Whenever possible, involve preteens and teens in creating technology guidelines so they feel heard and respected. Boundaries work best when they are explained as ways to protect health, relationships, and learning—not as punishment.
Common examples include device-free meals, homework before entertainment, or designated family tech-free times.
Support Confidence Beyond the Screen
One of the best buffers against technology-related stress is a strong sense of self. Encouraging interests, hobbies, sports, creative outlets, and meaningful relationships helps children build confidence and resilience.
Adults also play an important role by modeling balanced technology use. When children see healthy habits in the adults around them, those lessons carry more weight.
When Concerns Arise
It is normal for children and teens to struggle with balance at times. However, ongoing concerns such as increased anxiety or sadness, sleep problems, withdrawal from friends or activities, academic changes, or intense reactions when devices are limited may signal a need for additional support.
Professional Support
If concerns about a child or adolescent’s technology use are affecting learning, emotional well-being, behavior, or family relationships, support from a licensed educational psychologist may be helpful. I work with students, families, and schools to better understand individual needs and to develop practical, supportive strategies. Referrals are welcomed when additional guidance or assessment is needed.